In the story, I included a lot of information that the reader should not need to know until later. Although it was nice to have some contextual elements to understand the purpose of some characters and situations, I thought it would be better to remove them. I wanted to have a more seamless story. To elucidate, I changed how Lumine left/disappeared. Initially, I mentioned that Lumine left to go to the Abyss Order (spoilers that'll never appear in this story?) but now she just disappeared without leaving a trace. That'll leave the reader in suspense and confusion as they cheer for Aether to find Lumine.
Because I was verbally telling the story, I missed some dialogue between the characters. I wanted to make some parts of the story better so I added some flourishes and dialogue. In general, people enjoy stories that have conversations since they can be immersive.
Initially, I wanted the self-insert character to be kind and smart. However, what's a wonderful story without a little stupidity and comedy? Against rationality and reason, I made them do something stupid.